Education as a Rat Race
Saturday, September 5, 2009 at 05:00PM 
There is an article on unschooling in the Baltimore Sun: From Homeschooling to ‘Unschooling’: Parents Believe in Letting Children Set the Pace. All in all, I thought that it was a very positive piece (and knowing some of the folks interviewed, I am not surprised at all.)
However, to be honest with you, I will admit that I am not a big fan of seeing unschooling articles in mainstream publications. It can be hard to convey what unschooling is and how it can work and there is a tendency to loose some in translation. Not to mention it opens us to scrutiny and criticism by people who are unfamiliar with homeschooling, much less unschooling. I do understand that it can be nice to see positive articles, but I still worry a little about imperceptions that can arise from these one-dimensional representations of something that is much fuller and more nuanced in practice.
Homeschooling requires a shift in how you view education…it requires an acceptance that learning can happen at home without an overly structured environment and that you do not need any special training to be able to facilitate your kids learning. Unschooling requires yet an additional shift to trusting that children can and do want to learn without being forced. Expecting people to make not only the shift to understanding homeschooling, but then the additional shift to understanding unschooling seems a bit much (as can be seen by the inevitable debates that typically ensue in the comments of these types of articles).
One of the things that I have come to realize is how incomplete a picture news articles provide. Having been interviewed and misrepresented by reporters on homeschool issues, (usually not intentionally and most often not about anything overly critical) I have changed how I view reporting. It is too easy to jump to a snap decision based on what is usually incomplete information. Unschooling, in my opinion, tends to invite these snap decisions because of how foreign the concept is in our society.
Photo by Jennifer Damashek What worries me is that the more visible it becomes, the more “concern” it might generate…concern like this. Having a public perception that there is a segment of homeschoolers who are “not schooling” their kids is not a good thing (and I have a feeling that debating the distinction between “schooling” and “educating” our kids will be lost in the translation for those who have not yet made the shift.)
I don’t have the desire to mount a defense of unschooling and explain why it can and does work (I think there are plenty of folks who have done this and I have done so in the past). But I could not let this part go without comment because it just seems to encapsulate so much of what I find wrong with the educational mindset of so many people:
Teri Flemal, director of Quality Education by Design, a New York-based program that helps parents hire personal teachers and build home curriculum, said she believes unschooling has its place. But she says it’s most useful for a child in a crisis transitioning from traditional schooling to home schooling, not as a regular teaching method.
“I’m reading e-mail from unschooling parents who think having their kids remodel their house with them is ‘school.’ I’m sorry, but it’s not,” Flemal said. “Painting, hammering, measuring - hey, that was great in primary school. I love that stuff.
“But I can tell you that it will not hold these kids in good stead as they compete with home-schoolers who are creating model video games, requiring them to know the ballistics of how fast and at what angle the bullets need to travel to create an impression of a certain size on the wall, or perhaps the home-schooler who has written a symphony.”
Oh where to start. First, my children are not in competition with anyone, homeschooled or otherwise. Learning is a personal journey, not a race. One of the biggest benefits of homeschooling, in my opinion, is that learning takes a lot of the competition out of learning. My kids don’t get grades. They don’t learn things in order to do well on tests. We learn because learning is useful and interesting…learning itself is the goal and the reward.
I am not completely against competition and my kids do have opportunities to compete. But I feel that learning is one of those areas where internal motivation is much more important than external motivations such as grades and class rank. As they get older, they will have more chances to take classes for grades and will have more exposure to this type of learning (which they will obviously need if they choose to go to college). But I am glad that I can give them a foundation in learning for the sake of learning.
The other thing I am curious about…where exactly is this competition that my kids are supposed to be having with other homeschooers? How exactly does that work? Is it to getting into “good” colleges? Getting “good” jobs? Is there some sort of limit on how many homeschoolers will “succeed” and so we have to be worried about our kids getting left out? Huh? Sorry, but I homeschool partly to escape from that whole “rat race” mentality and I am not buying it.
Second, while some homeschoolers are doing some pretty neat things, most homeschoolers I know are pretty average and are not off writing symphonies (designing video games is more likely though). This seems to be playing into the whole “homeschooler over-achiever” stereotype (which unfortunately, I will admit, some homeschoolers are willing to promote with “studies” that tout higher than average standardized test scores (like that means anything) and holding up spelling bee champions as indicative of all homeschoolers).
Yes, some homeschoolers do accomplish some pretty impressive things (Tara Adiseshan, a local homeschooler from Charlottesville just won the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair for some pretty incredible research) but I am not homeschooling my kids for the purpose of making them exceptional. I am homeschooling them to give them the freedom to be who they are and if that happens to make them exceptional, that is fine. But that is not my goal and I don’t feel the need to push them in that way.
Now maybe homeschoolers who would hire something like “Quality Education by Design, a New York-based program that helps parents hire personal teachers and build home curriculum” are more likely to be uber-competitive, but most homeschoolers I know are not.
Third, I found the examples of programming video games and writing symphonies very interesting…if there are homeschoolers who excel at doing this, my guess is that when they were younger they were given a lot of freedom to….play video games and musical instruments, maybe? In other words, follow their passions and interests…which is what unschooling is really all about. I have a hard time imagining that these kids were taught in overly traditional ways. Of course we don’t actually know if she was talking about specific homeschoolers who are doing these things or was talking more in general terms about what homeschoolers could be doing.
And why exactly is remodeling a house not seen as “acceptable” school whereas making video games and composing symphonies are? I am having a hard time seeing the distinction and it strikes me as pretty subjective. Remodeling a house is well over my head and I can list all sorts of valuable learning that would be happening during it. Not to mention that it definitely is a viable career option and the skills required seem pretty useful to me.
But maybe I am not getting a full understanding of the point Ms. Flemal was trying to make. Which is possible given that we only have a brief paragraph or two of what was most likely a much longer and in depth conversation.
Anyways, those are my thoughts for what they are worth. Thanks for reading.
Reader Comments (19)
An excellent post on many levels, Stephanie, but this part especially resonated with me: "...I am not homeschooling my kids for the purpose of making them exceptional. I am homeschooling them to give them the freedom to be who they are..."
I'm going to link to this from a couple of our sites, because it's wisdom and a perspective that is sorely needed right now. Thanks for taking the time to write and share your thoughts on this important topic.
Thanks Helen. I know lots of other people latched onto the "we need to study it" comment, but this one from a homeschool "expert" about competing really stuck out to me. This is one of my pet peeves with education nowadays. It is all about who can get the best grades and the highest gpa and the highest class rank to get into the best college. And then people wonder why kids are burned out.
It may not be that way every where, but I definitely see it around here outside Washington DC. Kids go to tutors even if they are doing fine in school because they need an "edge," parents who put their preschoolers in Kumon classes to prepare them for school. Competition to get into the highly touted and super competitive magnet schools.
One of the benefits of homeschooling is not getting caught up in that whole rat race mentality.
Great post! I was exasperated by that article, though I was very happy to see that it was mostly positive... I, too, love your comment about why you're homeschooling. I don't think unschooling should ever be about creating "exceptional" people. As you said, the most important thing is simply to give people the freedom to be themselves!
Peace,
Idzie
Well said. I found both experts the article quoted to be quite antagonistic to unschooling but whaddya expect?
Stephanie,
Loved reading your response to that article! We have been unschooling for four years and I still find myself hesitant to explain it for just the reasons you stated: too much to ask most folks to understand, even other homeschooling families. While there is a general fellowship between all homeschooling families, I occasionally find us as "the odd man out" just because we choose to unschool. As a result, we spend most (not all) of our time with ourselves--just our immediate family. How sad is it that so many Americans DON'T spend the bulk of their days with the people they love the most?
Thank you, Stephanie, for a wonderful response. My family is entering our second year of homeschooling. We love it for many reasons, not the least of which is the ability for our daughter to determine, and then follow, her own interests. She is not competing with other homeschoolers nor is she competing with other traditional schoolers. By the same token, I am not competing with other mothers in the great contest of "Who's got the better kid?" I grew so tired of the rat race and am so glad I stepped off of the track. Those who despise and question this choice so much strike me as being generally unconvinced of their own decision. After all, if my family is happy and successful minus the stress, why can't they have the same? Consider me a conscientious objector in this war.
Hi Stephanie,
I love this:
"I am homeschooling them to give them the freedom to be who they are and if that happens to make them exceptional, that is fine. But that is not my goal and I don’t feel the need to push them in that way."
This was a great post. I was nodding my head the whole time as I read it. Good stuff!!
Colleen
I really enjoyed this post! Thank you!
"“Painting, hammering, measuring - hey, that was great in primary school. I love that stuff."
And an insult to the carpentry trade, of which is thriving here.
Excellent rebuttal Steph. I admit, I'm out of the loop on a lot of these articles and can't even stand to read much of them, as a big "they just don't get it" banner is over my head the whole time.
Meanwhile, I will continue on unschooling the children (two of whom are off in the "real" world as adults) and save any explanations for those who are truly interested in knowing how we did.
I'd like someone to write an article that looked at unschooling next to the well documented and studied (bah blah blah) Sudbury Valley School Model. They want brick and mortar approval for unschooling, its all there.
Mudmama - You may enjoy this blog:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn
Lots of interesting discussion about unschooling vs. sudbury.
Colleen
Thanks for writing about this article because you made me aware of the teacher's response to it, and in the comments after her letter I found the blog of a grown unschooler! My kids unschool and I have a lot of trust in the process, but that trust would be impossible if it weren't for examples to look up to. So I eagerly read stories from older and grown unschoolers.
You make a good point about it being two steps toward understanding unschooling -- homeschooling is hard for many to understand, let alone unschooling -- and I agree it's wise to be careful about talking about it. We shouldn't avoid talking about it though. The more it is talked about the more opportunities for people to learn how sensible unschooling really is. Maybe our grandchildren will have even more freedom than our children, if they can unschool in a world that understands unschooling.
This is just great on so many points! Even with wanting to understand it and living it daily, I'm not sure I 'get' unschooling fully, so how can we expect reporters to explain it in a few paragraphs. Especially when they are trying to report on the unusual, sensational aspects of it. Many articles really have a freak show tone to them. I think the spotlight is not our friend.
I found very bizarre the comments about remodeling a house. One of the common complaints about unschooling is how much video game time many unschoolers have, not suddenly being a video game designer is really great, and a carpenter doesn't really have anything to offer. I really don't get that. Video games, houses and symphonies are all valuable parts of life.
The rat race comments are right on. It sometimes seems the more we try to opt out, the more people try to create a new homeschooling rat race. It reminds me a little of the 'mommie wars'. Your post is a breath of fresh air. Thank you.
Great post. I was really hesitant about the People article and interviewed my interviewer (not that this assures anything) and it ended up pretty positive in the end. I wouldn't do it again though and I think unschoolers should be cautious going into the media spotlight. As a very wise woman once said to me "the media is not your friend". :)
I tend to avoid that kind of thing now....after all the recent media attention more unschoolers might want to consider whether all of that spotlight is for their children or themselves.
HEAR HEAR! well said.
Andrea - This article came across a local maryland homeschool list I am on and I know some of the folks interviewed so it caught my interest. :o)
Ren - I know what you mean. I found that when I first started out, I wanted to scream it from the hilltops to everyone who would listen. But as I have been at it longer, I am finding that I am much more wary. Maybe having seen how it can so easily be misunderstood? I am very comfortable talking about it one on one or on homeschool email lists, but news articles just never seem to be able to do it justice. I figure that the info is out there and people who are open to it will be drawn to it...especially now that homeschooling is much more mainstream in itself.
I had a friend once who was interviewed for the local news about unschooling. They got some really great footage of her kids doing different interesting "non-traditional" type of activities. But at the very end, the reporter asked for a picture around the kitchen table...she grudgingly agreed (mainly because the reporter insisted). Guess what footage got used? She did manage to get some John Holt quotes on air and overall the piece was positive, but she still could not avoid that danged kitchen table LOL!
I did like that this article interviewed Billy and highlighted some older unschoolers...it seems like many of the articles usually have folks with really young kids (maybe because those of us with older kids are more wary of being interviewed??)
Stephanie,
Thanks for your response, which made me take a deep breath and relax. Too often I get defensive about our nearly unschooling and pull out some class that sounds impressive to quell my fears or try to fend off impending criticism.
As a woman who was in the skilled trades and a homeowner, I hope my daughter can do carpentry. She decided to raise chickens in our backyard this year. She has had to research breeds, learn about chicken care and lifecycle, design and build a coop, and figure out a budget to pay for all this. We did not pay for a class or join 4-H to do this. We did go to the library and got stacks of books related to chicken, talked lots with other chicken owners, the man at the lumberyard store, feed store clerks and more.
I was also struck by the videogame design comment on many levels. I would much rather my girl has any real 3-D skill than learn how to do something visually. Also, no one has commented on the nature of the videogame--it is militaristic and violent. That sickens me. The woman in the article was promoting her own business, selling violent imagery to children and disparaging practical skills. What kind of world are we in where building something in real life is considered beneath virtually designing a game that promotes violence?
I appreciate your blog. You have a refreshing perspective that renews my spirit each time I read your words.
“Painting, hammering, measuring - hey, that was great in primary school. I love that stuff.
Whoa! Did they take art, woodshop and math out of public high schools? Great post, thank you!
Stephanie,
Now this is an post I would yell from the rooftops ... in fact, I just included it in my must read list on my blog.
I used to want to stand up at the homeschooling conventions and yell, "Our children have been educated at home since birth and They ARE AVERAGE!" I never thought the high scores were the goal. Like you said, learning is the goal. I think Emerson has a quote that the reward of a job well done is a job well done. That has been the mindset we have tried to instill in our children.
All in all, I think that showing them that running after the proverbial carrot on the stick is not the best way to live a life, will benefit them especially now in this economic downturn. I just read in business weekly about this generation, these young adults in their early to mid twenties are taking the biggest hit right now because their years of education are not landing them a job, they may feel they have no purpose in life.
Thanks for a must read post!
Grace and peace.