And the Walls Come a Tumbling Down
That huge crashing sound you heard? That was my house of cards falling apart. What happened? Nothing major really. And that is the problem…it has not taken much lately to send me crashing because I have everything balanced "just so" which means that any little bump in the road causes me to crash. And I am tired of crashing.
I often have people ask me how I "do it all". Well, it has become obvious that I can't and I am killing myself trying.
My biggest problem is that everything that I am trying to do (well, mostly) is stuff that I enjoy and want to do, especially my homeschool advocacy and support work. But since there is so much of it I have found that I am feeling more stress than joy lately.
So I am going to scale back. I need to put my focus back on the boys and our homeschooling, where it belongs. Don't get me wrong, we have been doing a lot and they are learning, but I just feel that I have not been putting as much thought into what we are doing as I would like. I have been finding myself not being as "present" as I want to be. Having too many things that I am responsible for means that I am always thinking about how I am going to get everything done and not enjoying what we are doing.
This is not going to be easy for me. I hate letting people down. But obviously life will go on and hopefully as I get more balanced I will be able to judiciously pick more things back up. And start enjoying them again.